February 27, 2021
Wheeew! Bridgerton! *ALERT: CONTAINS SPOILERS!*
Okay, so I’m just gonna start by just saying that this is not my typical type of show. Romance shows, are not usually my thing, neither are period pieces. So putting the two together would definitely not be on my binge list.
So why would I bother giving this one a shot? Well for one, literally everyone and their mothers have been talking about it, I mean everywhere I looked someone was commenting and sharing memes, etc, about this show.
And honestly, all the hype about this show got me kinda intrigued. I just finished my last series on Netflix, so I thought I would give it a try.
When a show comes up that I’m not totally sure about, I usually give it a 2 or 3 episode try to decide if I’m gonna invest “my oh so precious and valuable time” that I have so little of to spare (total sarcasm, I totally have tons of TV time).
So anyway, here I am in my living room. Dishes are done, work is done, I have snacks and the boys are playing video games in the basement. I had no other excuse so I just said “F*** it!” and slapped on the first episode.
Now at first, I will admit, I had more questions than anything else; like first of all, what the hell are they saying (thank god for captions!).
Question two – who the heck wants to run out and marry a stranger at 18!
Question three – why are all these lovely young ladies lining up to have their beauty judged by the Queen, like really.
Then the big question #4 – why on earth are these young ladies carrying on like all they are worth is the man who chooses to marry them. Are they human beings or livestock?
I’ll admit the feminist in me got more than annoyed and this is less than 10 minutes in, and I was so close to cursing out loud and turning it off.
Then in walked the Duke of Hastings
and I thought “Well Damn! Okaay (Cardi B voice), let me give this a few more minutes to change my mind.”
Let’s not get things twisted, I still believe that the practice of women being groomed their entire lives to be housewives is revolting, the show and its characters did grow on me. Each character is unique in their own way.
Penelope and Eloise are so cute as BFFs. They are both so smart and rebellious, which is probably why they were my favorite characters.
In fact, most of the characters turned out to be pretty interesting, however, there was one character on the show who offered the most depth, and not just because he is extremely handsome, this was the male lead, the Duke, Simon Hastings, who will be my case study for today.
He’s Tall, Handsome, Rich, Royalty, a Sex-God, with MAJOR daddy issues (Yikes!!)
At first, Simon is portrayed as a selfish, player type. Never wanting to settle down with one woman, emotionally detached (majorly), thinks that everyone wants him, and even a little miserable. Sounds pretty douchy right?
As the episodes continue, we gain more insight into Simon’s back story. We start to learn of the long history of mental, emotional, even verbal abuse, that he endured from his narcissistic father, and the pain of being treated like an outcast, literally locked away for having a speech impediment, even after overcoming it. We learn that Simon wants to love and to be loved, but is scared of being rejected and hurt again and that he is struggling to move past his father’s harshness.
This really stood out to me as it resonates so much with those who have experienced childhood trauma and how long it can haunt you.
Simon had held on to that hurt, for so long that he could not recognize the control that it had over his life, and he couldn’t see how holding onto this pain was actually causing more damage, than the acts themselves.
In fact, his wounds were so deep, that even after his father’s death, Simon would still rather “get even” with his father, than find his own happiness.
This makes me think of the forgiveness work that comes with healing from childhood trauma. To be able to move on from these traumas, one needs to free themselves from their bonds.
To begin that process, one must fully accept, and more importantly, embody, the fact that what someone else has done to you, does not get to dictate how you spend your life.
The pain that was caused to you by someone else, even by a parent, does not get to tell you how your story ends. In fact, only YOU get to write your own story, and ONLY YOU get to choose the ending.
Being able to feel safe trusting another, after living with trauma, is not easy, and I am definitely not making light of the work and effort behind it. A first step is to simply surrender to the feeling of gratitude. Being grateful for everything you do have, and everything you are able to rebuild is the most solid stepping block towards freedom, happiness, and love. And by just becoming aware of these facts, will prevent you from being controlled by the beliefs that had been formed by the trauma.
Being able to let go of the toxicity and resentment that he had held on to for so long, will make room for forgiveness, and allow him to be able to move on.
Now, by forgiveness I don’t mean letting someone off the hook for how they treated you or allowing them back into your lives; it simply means the process of being able to let go and taking back responsibility for your own life.
It’s been said that the best revenge of all is to live happily.
When you can live through the worst from someone, and a the end chose happiness, that shows the person that their efforts to keep you down did not work, and did not win.
Keep this in mind as you forgive yourself for letting others’ actions have a hold over you, and move forward into gratitude.
Don’t forget, if you haven’t done it yet, subscribe a the bottom of the page to stay in touch. If you’re working on forgiveness and letting go, drop a note and let me know what you’re struggling with.
Love & Air Hugs,
J.