Why must we still be defending self-love in 2021?
Why is it still so hard to accept?
Why do people still have so much guilt & shame around taking time for themselves?
And WHY are people still hating on people who do??
First of all, self-love is self-acceptance, and the first real step to inner peace, that constant contentment, that state of gratitude, and that happy-chill vibe that I am eagerly striving for.
It’s allowing yourself the respect and appreciation that you need to nurture and grow, and it reminds ourselves that we are valuable, worthy, and deserving of happiness.
So how do we initiate this…. You literally can’t go wrong, but here are some helpful starting points that I’ve come across:
FIRST & FOREMOST (can’t believe I just used the word “foremost” in a post *facepalm*) Allow yourself the space to put yourself first, even if just for one hour of your day. And forgive yourself for feeling guilty because of it. Especially the moms out there, I’m looking at you!
2. Focus on your needs and not just your wants. You will have to listen to your inner voice closely on this one to shift through all of these and create two separate piles like the laundry.
3. Practice good self-care. Now, this can look like many things, and is totally personal. For some it's a long bubble bath with a book, others it's participating in your favourite activity like exercise, arts, hobbies, meditating, etc. and for others, it could be just simply enjoying a cup of coffee in silence. Whatever it is, make it a variety, and do it often even for just an hour daily.
4. Set Boundaries. This is one that I often struggle with myself, so I totally get that it’s easier said than done. This includes setting limits on how much of yourself you are willing to give out and being able to gracefully decline when you have reached your limit.
5. This one is my favourite and I feel most effective, and it’s referred to as “Killing A.N.Ts”. I learned this technique from a brain coach that I follow. A.N.Ts stands for “Automatic Negative Thoughts” and these A.N.Ts is that little hater that lives in the back of all minds that tells you that you won’t succeed, or that people will laugh at your ideas, or that you look fat in that one piece catsuit you have in your closet. These voices are actually limiting beliefs that have been ingrained into your subconscious over your lifetime (I will get more into that in a later post). But a technique to combat this imaginary heckler is to simply cut him/her off mid-sentence. Every time I hear this voice starting, I immediately talk over it with a positive, self-lovey, empowering thought, and best believe I shoot myself a smile and strut out in that cat-suit.
Whatever this looks like for you is totally your choice, no one else’s so own it! Don’t apologize for taking care of yourself, and don’t allow anyone to make you feel ashamed or guilty for taking positive actions towards your own mental and physical health. Remember that you can’t serve others from an empty glass, and there is no one more deserving than you. xoxo, J.
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